Why Grief Feels Worse Now

Does your grief feel worse now? The last couple years have been full of grief.

In March of 2020 the world started to shut down. Businesses closed, school doors locked and students sent home. Kindergartners and CEOs alike sat behind a screen to meet with classmates and co-workers. At that time it was almost impossible to predict the lingering effects of the pandemic would still be felt today almost three years later. 

All of the unprecedented times have pushed us to a place of grief. Can it be true that grief feels worse now?

We all lost a lot during this pandemic. Loved ones’ lives were lost. There are also many other losses.  Our way of life. Loss of security. The world we once knew. There has been so much to grieve over the course of the pandemic. The impact of the pandemic is obvious for some, for others there is additional trauma that is almost subconscious. Grief feels worse now.

Four Reasons Why Grief Feels Worse Now

1. Emotional energy is already spent.

When you are experiencing grief it can drain you physically and mentally. When you have multiple traumas stacked on top of each other it is hard to even process it all. Sometimes you just don’t have enough emotional energy to manage your grief. 

Watching the news and seeing the daily reminder of death and disease. Living through political and social injustice. In addition the level of division in politics and beliefs of how this country should govern going into the future is enough to cause excessive anxiety. 

2. The person who died held you together

When someone dies who was your rock, your protector or partner it hits differently. There is grief when someone you love dies even if you don’t see them very often. When the person who dies took care of you the grief and loss multiplies. 

3. Grief is isolating already

The death of a loved one is isolating as it is. Dealing with this type of grief during a pandemic only compacts the effect. No matter how much support you have, dealing with grief is unique to each person. Everyone has their own grief story to experience and that can feel lonely. Increased fear about being around others and fear of getting sick has pushed us into further isolation. 

The division of thoughts and ideas around the pandemic and politics has also put a wedge between friends and family. This has also contributed to further isolation and grief.

4. Grief showing up as anger

Grief can show up as anger and frustration as well. When you are normally more calm and patient you find yourself being bothered much easier. In particular getting annoyed by others who complain about things that seem so minuscule. When a friend complains about kids, busy schedules or their own isolation it simply frustrates you. After experiencing the death of a loved one, perspective on life and small complaints can change quickly. 

Things are really touchy these days. There is judgment and opinions butting up against each other everywhere you look. When you are grieving and division is thick in the air, anger comes out as a side effect. 

Even though the world is different, the reality is that we are all more alike than we are different. There are people who love you and want to help you as you go through your grief. Being connected with others is important in healing. You can find additional grief support here.