Feeling Alone in Healing Grief
Grief healing can be a very lonely place. One of the most dangerous things to get caught up in when trying to heal grief is isolation. Not only just to be grieving alone, but to feel as though nobody understands you or has been where you have been. Isolation is a breeding ground for addictions and other dark places. One of the biggest misconceptions we have in our grief is that nobody understands me.
Your Grief story is YOURS..
Sitting alone in a dark basement, wallowing in the pain of losing a loved one. Life will never be the same. Nobody will ever understand. Nobody had a relationship like ours. I am alone in this. Though your story is 100% unique to you and the statements above may feel to be true and maybe they are. Nobody can really truly understand exactly what you are going through in the same exact way that you are experiencing it. There should be validation in your grief story being yours, and yours alone. Any feelings positive or negative that you have are valid and real.
You are not alone.
What is universality? The dictionary defines it as:
“the quality of involving or being shared by all people or things in the world or in a particular group”
Having someone who knows what you are going through or who can at least sit with you while you go through it can make all the difference in healing grief.
Don’t Hide your Pain
I spent a lot of time holding in pain and grief. It expressed itself when I couldn’t hold it in anymore. You know that bottle that fills so full with pressure that eventually it explodes. “Nobody understands or I don’t want to burden others with my issues.” Sometimes you keep things quiet because your grief and pain has been invalidated by others because they don’t understand it. They say, “your fine, at least it is not as bad as someone else”.
Find a Support Group to Help Work through Grief
After years of being quiet about my grief I joined a support group mostly because I wanted to help others. What actually happened is that I realized that even though other’s stories were not the same as mine, people did understand me and my pain was valid. The biggest take away from being in the group was that I was not alone. Every person who took part in the group expressed how they identified with others and finally felt the freedom to open up about their feelings. Bakken Young Funeral Home has many options for grief groups that you can check out.
No longer lonely in Healing Grief
If you have been feeling lonely in your grief I urge you to find a support group. If one didn’t work for you, find another or better yet create your own. Journey to Freedom is a great resource that is offered through local YMCA’s and other organizations. It is affordable and carried out with great guidelines that help members to feel safe in sharing with others. Whatever you do or however you do it, finding support and that universality with others will be a major help on your way to healing grief.