Grief secrets are those things that are hard to talk about. The questions that are hard to ask. Grief secrets come about when you don’t know how to respond. It’s one of those things that was fine last week and now, it is not fine. Grief secrets are those things that you don’t have the energy or the heart to tell others about.
Support to unlock grief secrets
A great support system is crucial in life. Especially during times of grief. An afternoon chat about anything but your grief. Or an all out cry about all the ways you hurt. Both are necessary pieces that create a healthy support system. A friend who will sit with you on your good days and bad days cannot be replaced. If you are one of the lucky ones who has that you are ahead of the game.
Most people do want to support others while they grieve. It can be painful to see someone you love in pain. It can also be hard to know what to say or do. Some timid friends or acquaintances may go as far as to hide because they don’t want to say the wrong thing.
When someone is trying to support you but it is not helpful you may feel guilty and not want to speak up about it. Today we are going to spill the beans on some grief secrets. These may just help you be a better support to someone in times of grief.
I don’t want to hear that it’s going to be okay.
People mean well but being told it is going to be okay feels like an outright lie. It is not okay and it may feel that it will never be okay.
Things will not go “back to normal” and I don’t want it to.
When a loved one dies all we want is for things to go “back to normal” but without them there is no normal. The thought of creating a normal without your loved one can be painful.
Just because I talk about my loved one all the time doesn’t mean I am not accepting reality.
Speaking about a loved one all the time is simply an expression of love and care for them. We have no choice but to accept that they are gone, but we can carry them with us with stories and memories.
You can talk to me about my loved one.
Never speaking of your loss does not keep from feeling pain. Others may avoid talking about the death or the person who died because they are afraid of causing more pain. Most of us dealing with grief want to know that you are thinking of our loved one. Talking about memories can be nice in the right setting.
Grief Secrets No more
Grief secrets are simply the hard parts of grief that are sometimes hard to explain. They are the things we want to scream at the top of our lungs or the things we just can’t muster the energy to communicate. Everyone has their little grief secrets. It’s okay to share them. Communicating fears, needs and secrets can unlock a whole new level of growth.
Reach out for additional grief support.