Have you caught yourself avoiding places your deceased loved one used to go? Death can catch us off guard. It is so sudden. It is even more so when a death is unexpected.
We often associate certain places and experiences with people in our lives. We come to this realization even more after they die. There is a weird phenomenon that occurs when someone dies. It’s almost as if you see them or think that you see them everywhere.
Everybody responds differently to this occurrence. It can potentially be reassuring for some to think of their loved one. For many it can be kind of a jarring reminder of your grief. It is only natural that avoiding places your deceased loved one used to go to, is your grief response.
Avoiding places your deceased loved one used to go
When grief is fresh, adjusting to the absence of your loved one is intense. It seems everything you may have unintentionally taken for granted about their presence is blasted into your consciousness. You have a question that pops up in your mind and you think, I will give Mom a call and ask, but then you remember that Mom is not there to ask. You walk into the gym getting ready to work out and you think you see Auntie on the machine she always worked out on. But then it hits you, she is no longer there.
So if you go to the gym for your normal work out and as you walk in the door a sudden rush of grief washes over you. If you subsequently run out and don’t want to come back. It isn’t unheard of and it’s okay.
There is nothing like re entering into the world after the death of a loved one. The hours and days after a death are a whirlwind of emotion. Spending time with mourning family members and organizing end of life services pull all of your focus. When it is time to “get back to normal”, it can be a real punch in the gut. Going back to work or out into the world and realizing even though your world has changed forever, everything else goes on.
Is it Normal?
We often ask the question, is it normal? Normal is very objective and in reality there is no one true “normal” to measure all behavior against, therefore any expression of grief can be considered normal. Everyone grieves differently and avoiding your places your deceased loved one used to go is normal.
Grief is experienced and expressed differently for everyone. If you are struggling with your grief you can find additional grief support here.