Here is a beginners guide to journeying through grief. We all grieve. Any time we experience loss of any kind we grieve. We may grieve the loss of our youth, the loss of past traditions and especially the loss of another human. Loss is a part of life, some losses being more impactful than others. Some experience more death and trauma earlier in life and others may not lose a loved one until much later in life. The sad reality is that all of us will experience loss at some point.
If you are experiencing loss of a loved one for the first time here is a little guide to help you journey through your grief. When your loss is fresh you may question, what is the right way to grieve. You may wonder if how you feel is “normal”.
A Beginners Guide to Journeying through Grief
Everyone grieves differently
Each of us experience life in our own way. It is only natural that we each grieve in our own way as well. While there are “stages of grief” that commonly show up in our grief story, how you do it will not necessarily be what you’ve seen in others. You may cry all the time or not at all. If your person died on a Tuesday you might be “off” emotionally every Tuesday and “normal” the rest of the week.
Grief comes in waves
Just when you feel like you have healed your grief it pops up again. You may go weeks or months without crying or feeling in the depths of grief. It may feel like you have “moved on”. Then you wake up one day and it feels like you are back at square one. The reality is the grief is never healed, it just changes over time.
Forget what others think
It is so easy to worry about showing your grief in ways that others do not understand. It is one of those things that can conjure up feelings of shame and sometimes others make judgements about you. This can lead to masking your true self in front of others. Masking feelings on a regular basis can leave you emotionally drained. Don’t let what others think, or what you think they may be thinking, stop you from processing and feeling your grief fully.
Ask for help
New grief can be so overwhelming. You need help but don’t want to burden others. You may feel like you can’t function at all. You don’t know if you will ever be the same, it feels hopeless. If you have a good support system they will ask if you need help.
Beyond your own friends and family there are other ways to reach out for help. Trained counselors and therapists are a great place to start when you need grief support. You can also find grief support groups that will be less expensive than a therapist. Asking for help and letting others come alongside you in your grief is one of the most healing steps you can take.