When trauma or loss happens are you the one who everyone leans on? Today we are going to talk about how bearing the weight of others’ pain and always being strong for others can stunt your own self-healing.
If you are the one who everyone always leans on when times are tough this blog is for you. If you are someone who has a strong leader who you lean on during tough times this is for you.
Balance Keeps Strengths from turning into Weakness
Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Some are emotional, some are creative, some are leaders and some are followers. We need every type of personality and strength and weakness to make the world run. Not one is better than the other. Although, what can be a strength for someone can become a weakness without the right balance.
If you find yourself as holding the burden of being the strong one for others you should absolutely take pride in that, don’t forget thought to make sure it is being done in a healthy way.
What we THINK Being Strong for Others looks like..
Stuffing your own feelings as to not upset others. Getting the job done no matter how exhausted you are. Staying up until all hours of the night so that others can process their grief and pain while you listen and never get to talk about your own grief. Maybe you have young children in your care and don’t want them to see you cry. You are the boss at work and can’t let anyone know that you are weary and keep pushing. These are some of the ways we THINK being strong looks like.
What strength really looks like…
Pushing yourself physically and mentally can be strength, there is nothing wrong with that. Being there with some empathetic listening is fantastic. Real strength comes from being vulnerable. When others need you, you can be there for them while also showing vulnerability and weariness yourself. When you are vulnerable it makes it easier for others to connect with you and essentially it creates a more well rounded healing environment.
Strong People need to Cry too
If you are the pillar of strength for others just don’t let it stunt your own self-healing. If you never get the chance to “let it all out”, you can essentially be creating mental health issues and stunted healing for yourself. As you make moves and hold others up make sure that you are acknowledging your own grief and pain. You may not want to break down at work or with certain groups of people. Make sure that you have a support system for yourself. Grief support groups or other social groups that allow you to connect and once again be vulnerable will not only help your own healing but help you to be more available to others.
So, create yourself an amazing support system and be that for others as well. If you need to cry, just let it go.