Making a Grief Plan

Grief comes in waves. It can hit at any time. Anything can trigger your grief and send you into a tailspin of feelings.  The better we understand ourselves the better we can learn how to work through our own grief. Part of knowing oneself is discovering what our grief triggers are. Then when we come across them, a grief plan can help create healthy ways to handle your grief. 

We all experience grief at some point in life. In the wake of a loved one’s death for many, the grief is most intense. No matter the distance between bouts of grief or how long since the trauma has occurred grief can pop up seemingly out of nowhere. When a wave of grief comes over you, putting together a grief plan can help to manage those feelings and help to stay out of a cycle of pain.  

The grief plan can be very simple. As simple as a short worksheet. To create the worksheet you must answer a few questions. The following questions are a good place to start.  If you can answer these questions the moment the grief starts to bare down on you it will be that much easier to understand and be prepared to manage it. 

Grief Plan Questions: 

1. What are the times or memories that trigger my grief?
2. When I am sad I can do these things.
3. These are some people I can talk to or places I can find support.
4. Thoughts I can think to keep me healthy.
5. How I plan to take care of myself?

As you go through different stages and grief changes, take out the worksheet and start over again. Answer all the questions from where you are at that moment.  In times of grief we often wonder why do I feel so hopeless, why can’t I seem to “move on”, why is it so hard to live life as I used to? Having this plan ready is very beneficial in managing grief and recognizing why things may be more of a struggle in the moment.  It will allow you to anticipate your own needs to take care of yourself and to keep tabs on all the wayward thoughts.

The goal is not to eliminate grief because grieving is a natural part of the human emotions. Everyone will experience grief. The goal is to grieve in the healthiest way possible. Maintaining mental and physical health in the wake of the grief is most important.