Are You Angry in Grief Right Now?

Anger and grief go hand-in-hand, but sometimes it becomes too much. You’re getting tired of feeling irritable, and we completely understand that. While anger is a normal emotion to feel, there are times when self-control is challenging or near impossible. This hurts both you and the other person. After all, who enjoys lashing out? Here, we will explore grief and anger and offer guidance for all who struggle. You are not alone in your grief!

Angry in grief? Take a moment

First, a simple solution and quick remedy to dealing with your anger as you grieve is to take a moment. Take a breath. Step back and reassess the situation before you react. As humans, we always respond to situations and things that can trigger us, even when we try our best to have self-control and not react negatively. Self-control can be a virtue that is nearly impossible to achieve in one’s life. That is why pausing for a moment before you react is best. If you need to take a few breaths to cool down, go for a walk, leave the room, or respond a day later, do so. It is better to take your time to respond in a professional manner than to argue back and forth. Sometimes this isn’t possible when talking to a family member or friend in the room. Have you considered being honest? Saying something like, “This is making me angry right now, and I don’t want to lash out at you. Please give me a moment,” is more beneficial to you and the other person than starting a fight. Consider the “take a moment” method today!

Why do I feel angry in grief?

No one likes feeling angry or irritable. But, why do we get so angry sometimes in grief? Here’s some insight;

“…a devastating loss tears away someone we love. We’re reminded that our relationship can be severed at any moment – by death or other traumatic events. This dysregulates our entire attachment system and spirals us into a state of stress and crisis. Part of why support systems are so important in grief is that, in a core, biological way, they remind us that we still have a safe, secure base of friends and family.

But when someone in that support system makes a misstep – even one that’s relatively small, even when we ourselves have made similar missteps – it strains our already stressed and panicked attachment system…When anger comes up, find the tools to calm and ground yourself that work for you. Learning to express your needs and set boundaries are also hugely helpful tools. And learning how to give people feedback when they say something harmful or hurtful is tough but important in coping with anger in grief.”

According to this article by What’s Your Grief?

Bakken-Young is here for grief support

Bakken-Young is more than a funeral service, we can help you carry your grief and help you grieve. We understand that grief forms differently in everyone which is why we are here for guidance. With that in mind, we offer multiple resources for grief support that range from grief groups to casual conversations, grief webinars, and social events. Whatever you need, we will find something that works for you. Contact us today for support.

Sources

Why Does Grief Make You Angry at Friends and Family? by What’s Your Grief?