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(Grief is Welcome Here at Bakken-Young)
As the days grow shorter and the autumn air becomes crisp, Thanksgiving invites us to gather, reflect, and give thanks. It’s a season filled with traditions, familiar dishes, and cherished memories. For many, however, Thanksgiving is also a time when grief intensifies. The holiday can highlight the empty seat at the table or make the absence of a loved one feel even sharper. If you’re coping with a loss this November—whether recent or longstanding—your experience is real, your feelings are valid, and above all, your grief is welcome here.
Mixed Feelings Are Normal
It’s common to feel a swirl of emotions at Thanksgiving: gratitude, sadness, love, longing, maybe even guilt or anger. You might find moments of warmth alongside sudden waves of sorrow. Sometimes laughter mixes with tears; sometimes you simply wish you could skip the season altogether. These emotions are all normal. There is no “right way” to feel during a holiday, especially when you’re carrying grief.
Rather than judging yourself or trying to live up to others’ expectations, give yourself permission to feel whatever arises. Thanksgiving may look different this year, and that’s okay.
Remembering with Gratitude
One of the most meaningful ways to navigate Thanksgiving when you’re grieving is to find gentle ways to remember your loved one as part of the holiday. You might:
- Set a Place or Light a Candle: Keep your loved one present by setting a place for them at the table, or by lighting a candle in their memory before the meal.
- Share Memories: Invite guests to share a favorite memory, tradition, or funny story about the person you miss. Sometimes, a simple toast or quiet moment of remembrance can bring comfort and connection.
- Cook Their Favorite Food: Preparing a recipe that was special to your loved one can be both a tribute and a source of comfort for family members.
- Write Notes of Gratitude: If sharing memories out loud feels too raw, consider writing down what you’re grateful for about them, or penning a letter expressing how much they are missed.
Whatever rituals you choose, the most important thing is that they feel meaningful to you.
Adjusting Traditions with Compassion
Sometimes, continuing with old traditions is too painful, and that’s perfectly valid. You may need to simplify your plans—order takeout instead of cooking, gather with a smaller group, or decline invitations if solitude feels healing this year. Allow yourself the flexibility to adapt, and know that changing traditions doesn’t diminish love or gratitude.
If you’re supporting others who are grieving, be gentle and understanding about their needs as well. Not everyone processes loss the same way, and what brings comfort to one person might be hard for another.
Support Matters—You’re Not Alone
Grief can feel isolating, especially when it seems like everyone else is celebrating. Reach out for support—whether from friends, faith communities, a support group, or a counselor—if you feel overwhelmed. Even a short conversation or a shared cup of coffee can lighten the burden. At Bakken-Young, we’re always here to listen, support, and remind you that you don’t have to walk this path alone.
And if you know someone who is grieving this Thanksgiving, check in with them. Sometimes the best support is simply being present, with no need for advice or fixing.
The Gift of Self-Compassion
Above all, carry self-compassion into the season. Gratitude and sorrow often coexist; one does not cancel out the other. Allow yourself to experience both, and recognize that healing is not a straight line. If all you do this holiday is get through it, that’s more than enough.
Grief is Welcome Here
At Bakken-Young, we honor every story and every feeling that the holiday brings—love, hope, remembrance, and pain. If you’re grieving this Thanksgiving, remember: your grief is welcome, your memories matter, and there are gentle ways to move through this season with both sorrow and gratitude.
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