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When the World Feels Lighter and You Don’t
As early summer arrives around River Falls, New Richmond, and Hudson, the world tends to speed up. School years wrap up. Calendars fill with graduations, weddings, cookouts, and weekends away. There’s talk of cabins, camping, and travel plans.
If you’re grieving, you might look at all of this and think, “I don’t feel like that at all.”
It can be jarring to live with a heavy heart when everything around you seems lighter.
Out of Step With the Season
Warm days and blue skies don’t automatically make grief easier. In fact, the contrast between your inner world and the outer one can make things feel worse.
You might notice you’re:
- Tired or weighed down when everyone else seems energized
- Saying no to gatherings that used to be enjoyable
- Caught off guard by memories in familiar places—parks, lakes, favorite patios
- Feeling guilty for not being “in the mood” for summer
Nothing about this means you’re doing something wrong. Grief doesn’t check the forecast. Your heart is allowed to feel what it feels, even when the weather seems to suggest otherwise.
Letting Yourself Move at Your Own Pace
With invitations and plans swirling, it’s easy to feel pressured: “It will be good for you,” “You need to get out,” “You’ll feel better if you keep busy.”
Sometimes those things are true. Other times, they’re just too much.
It’s okay to:
- Accept only the invitations that feel manageable
- Decide ahead of time that you might leave early
- Choose a smaller visit or walk instead of a big event
- Say, “Thank you for understanding—I’m not up for that this year”
Grief in early summer doesn’t mean you’re behind. It simply means your heart is on its own timeline, which has nothing to prove to the season.
Finding Gentle Ways to Be Outside
For some people, a little fresh air can soften the edges of a hard day. That doesn’t mean you have to host a cookout or join a big group at the lake. Small, simple moments count.
You might:
- Sit on a porch or bench for a few minutes and just breathe
- Take a short walk in a quiet place—by the river, down your street, through a park during a calm time of day
- Visit a spot that holds kind memories of your loved one
These aren’t assignments; they’re options. The goal isn’t to force yourself to “enjoy summer,” but to give your body and mind a little space, if and when you’re able.
Facing Milestones and Events
Early summer often brings special days: graduations, anniversaries, weddings, reunions. Those can be beautiful—and very painful—at the same time.
If you decide to attend, it might help to:
- Talk with someone you trust beforehand about how you’re feeling
- Plan where you might step away if you get overwhelmed
- Carry a small reminder of your loved one—a piece of jewelry, a photo on your phone, a small token in your pocket
If you decide not to go, that is also okay. Grief asks for honesty, not performance.
You Don’t Have to Match the Weather
One of the quiet pressures of this season is the idea that “it’s so nice out, you should be happy.” But grief doesn’t work that way. It’s not a mood you turn off because the sun is out.
At Bakken-Young, we see how often people feel alone in their grief once the busyness of winter and spring has passed. If you’re carrying grief in early summer, you are not behind and you are not failing. You’re a human being living through something very hard.
Let the season do what it does. Let others do what they need to do. And let yourself be exactly where you are—no more, no less. You don’t have to walk through this season alone.
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