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For some people, late October is lighthearted—costumes, decorations, and events meant for fun. If you’re grieving, though, this time of year can feel different. Certain images, jokes, or themes may land in a way that feels jarring or even painful when you’re already carrying real loss.
If you’ve noticed a sense of unease, irritation, or sadness as October draws to a close, you’re not alone. Grief at the end of October is a very real experience.
Why This Time of Year Can Feel Off‑Balance
There are a few reasons late October can be hard:
- Playful images of death and fear can clash with the real, serious grief you’re living with.
- Loud or busy events may feel overwhelming when your heart is already tired.
- Memories tied to this time of year—anniversaries, past gatherings, or the approach of days of remembrance—may surface more strongly.
It can be confusing to see others having fun with themes that touch closely on something you’re experiencing in a very different way.
Giving Yourself Permission to Step Back
You don’t have to enjoy or participate in everything happening around you. It’s okay if:
- You choose not to attend certain events this year
- You keep decorations simple or skip them altogether
- You limit what you watch or scroll past quickly if it feels upsetting
Your boundaries are not a sign of weakness—they’re part of caring for yourself in a season that can press on tender places.
Choosing What Feels Respectful and Meaningful to You
If you’re looking for ways to observe this time of year that feel more aligned with your grief, you might consider:
- Lighting a candle at home in memory of the person you’re missing
- Spending a quiet evening in reflection, prayer, or journaling
- Visiting a resting place or meaningful location for a short time
- Sharing a favorite story about your loved one with someone who understands
These simple gestures can bring the focus back to what’s real and important to you, rather than what’s happening in popular culture.
Holding Space for Mixed Feelings
You may find that you feel a mix of things—frustration with certain images or jokes, appreciation for moments of warmth and kindness, or even brief flashes of enjoyment that surprise you. All of that is okay.
You don’t have to pick one “correct” emotion. Grief is rarely neat or simple. It’s allowed to be layered.
You’re Not Alone at the Turn of the Season
At Bakken‑Young, we know that the calendar doesn’t stop for grief. Seasons change, events come and go, and sometimes that movement can make your loss feel even more visible.
If the end of October feels heavy or off‑balance this year, we want you to know that your reaction makes sense. You’re not oversensitive or “too much.” You’re someone who has lived through something hard.
However you choose to move through these days—quietly, with a few trusted people, or somewhere in between—your way of honoring your grief matters. And if you’d like support or a listening ear, we’re here to walk beside you.
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