(715) 243-5252 |
When we talk about grief, it can be tempting to imagine that there is a “normal” way to do it. You might wonder if you’re grieving the “right” way, or worry that your experience doesn’t look like what you see in movies, on social media, or even in your own family. The truth is simple and important: there is no single way to grieve.
At Bakken-Young, we walk alongside families in the River Falls, New Richmond, Hudson, and surrounding communities who are each navigating grief in their own way. Over and over, we see how deeply personal and unique this journey is—shaped by the relationship you had, your life experiences, your personality, and your current season of life.
If your grief doesn’t look like anyone else’s, that’s okay. It’s yours.
Grief Has Many Faces
Grief can show up in countless ways. Some people cry easily; others rarely cry at all. Some feel numb, as if they’re moving through life on autopilot. Others may find themselves suddenly irritable, restless, or unusually tired. You might experience:
- Waves of sadness that come and go
- Moments of unexpected laughter or peace
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Changes in appetite or sleep
- A strong need to keep busy—or a need to be very still
None of these responses means you are doing it “wrong.” They are simply different ways your heart, mind, and body are trying to cope with a deep change.
Comparing Grief Can Make It Harder
It’s common for people to compare their grief to that of siblings, friends, or other family members. You might notice that someone else seems to be “holding it together” better than you, or that they’ve returned to routines more quickly. Or perhaps you feel pressure to move on faster than feels right to you.
Comparisons can quietly add guilt or shame to an already heavy load.
You may find it helpful to remind yourself:
- “My relationship with my loved one was unique, so my grief will be unique too.”
- “There is no timeline I have to meet.”
- “It’s okay if my grief looks different from those around me.”
Giving yourself permission to grieve in your own way is an act of kindness and respect toward your own heart.
Gentle Ways to Navigate Your Own Path
While every journey is different, some gentle practices can help you stay supported as you find your way through grief:
- Notice your needs without judgment.
Ask yourself simple questions: Am I tired? Overwhelmed? Lonely? Instead of criticizing your answers, see if there’s one small way you can respond—resting, calling someone, or simply taking a breath. - Allow both pain and moments of ease.
You might feel guilty when you catch yourself laughing, or enjoying a quiet moment. Remember: those moments do not erase your love or your loss. They are part of being human, even in the midst of sorrow. - Create small rituals that fit you.
You might light a candle, look through photos, write in a journal, say a prayer, or take a walk in a place that feels meaningful. There is no right ritual—only what brings you a sense of connection and grounding. - Reach out in ways that feel safe.
Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or support group can help you feel less alone. You don’t have to share everything; even a simple, “I’m having a hard day,” is enough. If you prefer privacy, a counselor or faith leader might offer support in a quieter setting.
When Others Don’t Understand
Sometimes, people around you may not fully understand how grief is affecting you. They may say things like “You seem so strong,” when you feel fragile inside, or “Aren’t you over this yet?” when you’re still very much in pain.
It can help to remember that their words often come from not knowing what to say, rather than from a lack of care. You might respond with something like:
- “Thank you for checking in. I’m still working through a lot of feelings.”
- “Grief is taking longer than I expected, but I appreciate your patience.”
You are allowed to protect your emotional space, and to ask for the kind of support you need.
You Don’t Have to Walk This Path Alone
Grief may be different for everyone—but no one should have to carry it entirely alone. Whether your loss is recent or years old, whether your days feel heavy or you’re just beginning to feel ready to talk, support is available.
At Bakken-Young, we are here to walk beside you with compassion and understanding. We know that each person’s story is unique, and we honor your way of navigating grief—at your pace, in your time.
Wherever you are right now, you are not alone.
Add Comment