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Most of us grow up hearing certain phrases about loss: “Time heals all wounds.” “You should be moving on by now.” “Stay strong for your family.” These sayings may be well-intentioned, but when you’re actually grieving, they can feel confusing, lonely, or even painful.
At Bakken-Young, we meet many people in the River Falls, New Richmond, and Hudson area who quietly wonder if they’re grieving “the right way.” Often, that worry comes from myths about grief they’ve heard for years. Let’s gently explore a few of these myths—and some kinder truths that can take their place.
Myth 1: “Time heals all wounds.”
Time can change your relationship to grief, but it doesn’t automatically erase pain. Simply waiting for months or years to pass does not guarantee relief. What often helps more than time alone is how you’re supported and what you’re able to express along the way.
Kinder truth: Over time, with support, care, and space to feel what you feel, the sharpest edges of grief may soften. Your love and your loss will always be part of you, and that is not a failure—it’s a reflection of how deeply you cared.
Myth 2: “You should be over it by now.”
Grief does not follow a calendar. There is no date by which you must feel “better,” and no chart that can compare one person’s timeline to another. Factors like the nature of the relationship, the circumstances of the death, your health, and your history all shape how sorrow unfolds.
Kinder truth: However long it has been, your grief is allowed to exist. It may change over time, but there is no deadline for missing someone you love.
Myth 3: “If you’re still crying, you’re not coping well.”
Tears often make people uncomfortable, so the message sometimes becomes: “If you’re crying, something is wrong.” In reality, crying can be one of many normal responses to loss. Some people cry often, some rarely, some not at all—and each response can be valid.
Kinder truth: Tears are not a sign of weakness. Neither is the absence of tears a sign of strength. Grief shows up in many ways, and emotional expression looks different for everyone.
Myth 4: “Talking about your loved one will make it worse.”
Some fear that bringing up the person who died will “remind” you of your pain—as if you ever truly forget. In truth, many grieving people find comfort when others remember their loved one’s name, stories, and impact.
Kinder truth: Talking about your loved one can be a tender, meaningful way to keep their memory alive. You have the right to decide when and how you share, and to let others know what feels supportive.
Learn More: Myths and Facts About Grief Webinar
If you’ve carried these myths—or others like them—it can be a relief to hear them gently challenged. On Tuesday, April 14, we’re offering a “Myths and Facts About Grief” webinar. Together, we’ll:
- Explore additional myths about grief
- Talk about what the research and real-life experience tell us
- Offer kinder, more accurate ways to understand your own journey
You’re warmly invited to join us. You can read more about the webinar and RSVP here:
https://bakken-young.com/event/myths-and-facts-about-grief/
https://bakken-young.com/event/myths-and-facts-about-grief/
You deserve support that honors the truth of your experience, not the myths that make it harder. Whatever you’ve heard in the past, your grief is real, your story matters, and you don’t have to walk through it alone.
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