How Families Grieve Differently During the Holidays

The holidays are a time when families gather, traditions come alive, and emotions run deep. For those who are grieving, however, the season can feel especially complex. Love and loss, hope and sadness—all can be woven together. While seasonal images may paint a picture of perfect togetherness, the truth is that every family navigates grief, memory, and meaning in their own way. If your family’s experience feels different this year, know that your way of grieving is valid, and you’re not alone. Here’s our blog on how families grieve differently during the holidays and guidance.

Grief Is a Family Journey—But Not a Single Path

Grief can amplify everything during the holidays. For some, it might mean old traditions bring comfort, while for others, those same traditions can feel too painful. One family might set an extra place at the table to honor a loved one’s memory; another may want to avoid reminders altogether. You may find that even within the same family, each person moves through their loss at a different pace, with different needs and expressions.

It’s natural for families to have a mix of emotions—laughter mingling with tears, memories shared in both joyful and hushed tones. When someone is missing, each member may grieve not only who is gone but also how the family itself has changed.

Honoring Differences Within Your Family

Open, gentle communication is vital. Let family members know it’s okay if they don’t want to participate in certain rituals, or if they want to introduce new ones. Ask what feels helpful or comforting, and consider creating space for everyone’s needs. Some families light a candle in memory, while others share stories or favorite foods that bring their loved one close in spirit.

Respect each person’s way of coping—even if it looks like distraction or distance. Sometimes, extended family and friends may not realize how strong these emotions are for you or your loved ones. Rather than comparing losses or ways of grieving, offer understanding.

When Traditions Need to Change

It’s okay for traditions to shift. Perhaps gathering feels overwhelming, and a quiet night at home offers more comfort. Maybe you’ll try a new activity, like taking a winter walk, volunteering, or creating a memory ornament together. Change doesn’t erase love; it’s simply a way to acknowledge that things are different now.

Offering Support—And Asking for It

Supporting a grieving family member can be as simple as listening, offering a hug, or just being present. You don’t have to fix anyone’s pain. Likewise, if you’re the one grieving, allow yourself to receive kindness and help.

If grief feels especially heavy, or if family conflicts are adding stress to the season, reaching out to a counselor or a support group can offer relief and understanding.

Making Space for Hope

Even in the midst of loss, the holidays can be a time to breathe, reflect, and find small moments of comfort. There is no right way to grieve during the holidays, and your family’s way is enough. Healing can come in quiet moments, shared memories, or acts of self-care. However you honor your loved one and your family’s story, you are part of a larger community that cares.

At Bakken-Young, we see and support all the ways families remember and grieve—during the holidays and beyond. If you need support or guidance, we’re here to help, every step of the way.