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When someone dies, the first hours and days can feel unreal. Even when a death is expected, the moment it actually happens can bring shock, confusion, and a flood of emotions. On top of that, there are practical questions that suddenly need answers.
If you’re facing a loss—or thinking ahead because you’ve been in that position before—you may wonder: What happens first when a death occurs? Who do we call? What does the funeral home actually help with?
Our hope is that a clear picture of those first steps can ease some of that uncertainty.
Immediate Steps in Different Situations
What happens first can depend a bit on where the death occurs.
At a hospital or care facility
Staff there will guide many of the initial medical and legal steps. When you’re ready, they will usually ask which funeral home you would like to contact. You can tell them you’ve chosen Bakken-Young, and they will reach out to us on your behalf.
At home under hospice care
If your loved one is under hospice care, your hospice nurse is often your first call. They will come, make necessary pronouncements, and help coordinate with the funeral home you choose.
At home or elsewhere, unexpectedly
If the death is unexpected and not under hospice care, calling emergency services (911) is often the first step. Once authorities and medical professionals have done what they need to do, you will be asked which funeral home you prefer. You can name Bakken-Young at that time.
In all of these situations, once we are contacted, we begin walking with you.
How Bakken-Young Steps In
After we receive the call, our first priority is to make sure your loved one is cared for with dignity, and that you know you’re not alone in figuring out what comes next.
We will:
- Arrange for your loved one to be brought into our care
- Set up a time for you (and any family you want present) to meet with us—either in person or by phone/virtual meeting if needed
- Explain what decisions need to be made now, and what can wait until later
We move at a pace that respects both the practical needs and the emotional reality of what you’re going through.
The First Decisions You’ll Face
During our initial meeting, we’ll gently talk through:
- Whether you prefer burial or cremation
- The type of service you’re considering (traditional funeral, memorial, graveside, celebration of life, or something more private)
- Any faith traditions, customs, or personal touches you’d like to include
- Timing and location for the service
We’ll also help with details like:
- Writing and submitting an obituary if you choose
- Coordinating with clergy, musicians, cemeteries, and other parties
- Completing necessary paperwork, such as death certificates
You do not need to have all the answers right away. Our job is to explain options clearly and help you make decisions one step at a time.
If You’re Thinking Ahead
Some people read about these first steps not because a death has just occurred, but because they’ve been through it before and want things to be clearer for their own family in the future. In that case, you may want to explore pre-planning, where many of these decisions are made in advance.
Pre-planning can:
- Give your family a clear guide to follow
- Reduce the number of urgent choices they have to make in the moment
- Ensure that your own wishes are known and respected
We’re glad to talk about pre-planning in a calm, unhurried setting whenever you feel ready.
You Don’t Have to Remember All of This
In the middle of grief, it’s hard to remember details. The most important thing to know is simply this: when a death occurs, you are not expected to handle everything alone.
At Bakken-Young, we are here to receive your loved one into our care, sit with you in those first conversations, and walk beside you through each decision. Whether you’re facing a loss now or thinking ahead because you care about your family, we’re here to help carry some of the weight.
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