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Finding Comfort at the End of the Day
As winter settles in across the River Falls, New Richmond, and Hudson area, the days grow shorter and the evenings seem to stretch on. For those who are grieving, these quiet hours can feel especially heavy. Once the busyness of the day slows down, there is more space for memories, questions, and emotions to surface.
If winter evenings have begun to feel long, lonely, or overwhelming since your loss, you’re not alone. Many people tell us that nighttime is when their grief speaks the loudest.
While nothing can erase the ache of missing someone you love, there are gentle ways to bring a bit of comfort and light into the end of the day.
Why Evenings Can Feel So Hard
During the day, tasks and conversations can provide a kind of structure—errands to run, calls to make, meals to prepare. When evening comes, the quiet can highlight what has changed: an empty chair, a missing voice, a routine that no longer looks the same.
You may notice:
- Memories flooding back as you sit down to rest
- A sudden wave of sadness or anxiety when you turn off the TV or lights
- Sleep becoming more difficult to find or stay in
- A sense of being alone, even if others are in the house
These reactions are common. There is nothing wrong with you if evenings feel harder than other parts of the day.
Creating Small Anchors of Comfort
You don’t need to overhaul your evenings. Often, simple, repeatable routines can create a sense of gentle structure—and a little bit of peace.
Here are some ideas to consider:
- A “light in the darkness” ritual.
Choose a time each evening to light a candle or turn on a favorite lamp. As you do, you might think of your loved one, say a short prayer, or simply breathe deeply for a few moments. This small act can become a quiet reminder that love and memory still shine, even in darker seasons. - A comfort corner.
Create a cozy spot in your home—a chair with a blanket, a small table, perhaps a photo or object that is meaningful. Let this be a place where you intentionally rest, read, or reflect. Having a physical space set aside can help your body and mind feel a little more settled. - Gentle distractions when needed.
Some evenings, you may need rest from intense feelings. It’s okay to choose a calm TV show, a book, a puzzle, or soft music to give your heart a break. Distraction, used kindly, can be part of caring for yourself.
Finding Your Own Quiet Connection
Evenings can also be a time to gently connect with your loved one’s memory in a way that feels right for you:
- Write in a journal—a few lines about your day, a memory, or a message you wish you could share with them.
- Look through photos in small doses, stopping when it becomes too much.
- Talk out loud as if they were in the room; this can be surprisingly comforting for some people.
- Pray or meditate, if that aligns with your beliefs, asking for comfort and strength.
None of these are requirements—they are options. What matters most is that you feel free to explore what supports you, without judgment.
Reaching Out, Even After Dark
If evening loneliness feels overwhelming, consider reaching out to someone you trust:
- Call or text a friend or family member and let them know you’re having a hard night.
- Keep the number of a support person or group nearby.
- If you attend a church or community group, see if there is someone you can contact when evenings are particularly tough.
You don’t have to carry every night’s weight by yourself.
Being Gentle With Yourself
Some nights, you may manage to follow a small routine or reach out; other nights, you may simply get through as best you can. That is okay.
Try to replace self-criticism with compassion:
- “I’m doing the best I can tonight.”
- “It makes sense that evenings are hard right now.”
- “I don’t have to handle this perfectly.”
Grief is demanding work, and you deserve kindness—especially in the quiet hours when your loss feels most present.
You Are Not Alone in the Night
At Bakken-Young, we know that grief doesn’t keep business hours. It shows up in the middle of the night, on quiet Sunday evenings, and in small, unexpected moments. We are here to support you in all of it.
If you are struggling with winter evenings or any part of your grief, you are welcome to reach out. Your experience matters, and you do not have to walk this path alone.
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