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Valentines Day as a Widow/er

Valentines Day as a Widow/er

According to good old Wikipedia, Valentine’s Day also called Saint Valentine’s Day or the Feast of Saint Valentine is celebrated annually February 14th. It’s significance is “the celebration of love and affection.


Throughout the different phases and stages of life, our relationship with Valentine’s Day may change. For many, it truly is seen as what is was created for. No, the answer is not a made up holiday created to stimulate the economy and get us rushing out to Target to spend our hard earned money on cute stuff that will get thrown in the trash within 24 hours. For some it is about celebrating the love and affection they have for another. Whether its a young person who receives a valentine from a Secret admirer, newlyweds with full hearts and hopes for the future or a couple who have been married so long that the holiday passes by with very little fanfare.


Valentines Day can be a great reminder that you love and are loved. After all, as humans we all desire to feel connected, desired and loved. It is a basic human need that can bring great joy and great sorrow into one’s life. As we ride the waves of life many of us experience both true and deep love as well as the pain of love lost. We break up, we make up, we move on.


“It’s better to have loved and lost, then the never have loved at all.”  This common saying can bring comfort but during Valentine’s Day more than ever it can remind us of the ones we have loved and lost.


When you have lost a spouse Valentines Day can bring up feelings of sadness and loneliness. It’s a reminder of the companionship and the love and affection you once had. The feelings are especially raw the very first Valentine’s Day as a widow/er. Reminiscing on all the love you shared with your spouse can bring comfort. You can be sure that those memories will always be there and they will never pass away. Take the time to connect with others in your life that you love and have affection for. Spending time with children, grandchildren and dear friends can remind us that we are loved in return.


If you know someone who has recently lost someone or even if has been years. Reach out to that person, have a coffee date, send a card or some flowers. Little things can make all the difference in how they experience the holiday.


Nothing can replace the love of someone we have lost but love has a way of stretching itself and finding us even when the source has gone on.

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